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Young Agent Coming of Age by
Jason Smadger -contributor to Jockweb.com OAKLAND, NJ - Many years ago, kids on the play ground would shout, "I'm Michael Jordan!" or "I'm Emmitt Smith!" as they played with their neighborhood friends. Such action was done in admiration of the star athletes in the hopes that they could perform somewhat like their heros. Times are officially changing. Last Thursday in Mahwah NJ, 15 year old Jon Rosenblum was heard to shout, "I'm Drew Rosenhaus!" He proceeded to walk off a basketball court with Bobby Armond, top basketball player at Indian Hills High School in Oakland, NJ. "It's time this young man gets the credit he deserves," Said Rosenblum. Armond has kept away from optional after school sporting events such as intramural basketball and softball. "I understand his teammates are suffering," Rosenblum said. "But what about BA's suffering? I don't think having his lunch paid for is asking too much. Why should he receive the same compensation as the last kid picked for all the sports? Isn't this America?" Jon Rosenblum is a 10th grader with big aspirations. "No question Drew Rosenhaus is my hero. So much so, one day I hope to run him out of business using cutthroat tactics I learned from him." Rosenblum, of Jewish decent, was always last to be chosen at athletic events in school and was even cut from the Marching Band because he could barely walk straight. "Sports wasn't for me," admits Rosenblum. "I couldn't be an athlete and was tired of being an athletic supporter. I did what came naturally to my people. Now I own them." Rosenblum's reach extends beyond the playground. He lists among his clientele the smartest kid in 9th grade and the prettiest girl in 11th grade, Sarah Pratt. "Ms. Pratt has been visually enjoyed by students, faculty and staff for years," said Rosenblum. "Guys want to date her, other girls want to dress like her and copy her hair style. Yet she receives no compensation from the school. I'm trying to make things more fair for those who deserve it." Efforts to extend his reach beyond these 3 high profile clients are on-going. "I'm in negotiations now with one of the school's top geeks. I mean, who's gonna play Dungeons and Dragons without him?" Also being sought by Rosenblum are the kid who always finishes assignments early, the 3 students with perfect attendance, the 11th grade class clown as well as many others. "By the end of June, I will have more than a dozen clients. I will own this school." When asked about the downside of holding students out of class, Rosenblum was a bit evasive. "Please don't use the term 'hold out'. No one has missed any class yet...we still have a long summer of negotiations ahead of us." When asked if it was a possibility of the status changing by September, Rosenblum said he'd take a 'wait and see' attitude.
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