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Minnesota Vikings running back Onterrio Smith will miss the 2005 season due to the fact that he is pregnant with his first child. Smith was stopped after a routine airport baggage check where security officials found a hidden penis in his suitcase. Smith used the "Whizzinator" fake penis to escape drug detection. Evidently, the penis dispensed "clean" urine during the NFL drug test. Unfortunately, the urine dispensed from Smith's device revealed that he was pregnant.

NFL officials immediately announced that Smith would be on unpaid leave while he prepared for the birth of the baby. Coach Mike Tice had planned to feature Smith as his top rusher but was supportive despite the disappointing loss to the team. Tice said, "The whole team's behind Onterrio. You know underneath those hefty NFL bodies are some of the most sensitive men you'll ever want to meet."

The team is planning a shower in late August for Onterrio, who teammates describe as glowing. Quarterback Daunte Culpepper commented, "Some of us are a little jealous but we're just so happy for Onterrio. To go from a possible drug suspension to a pregnancy leave is just great news."

Pictured: The original Whizzinator.  Penises come in White, Brown and fashionable black

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