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Texans Look to Ban Sexy Moves on Basketball Court Austin, TX - Texas House of Representatives passed legislation yesterday that would ban female basketball players from making sexy moves on the court during the game. This legislation comes on the heels of a bill that bans sexy cheerleader moves. The bills will both be presented to the State Senate for ratification by early next week. Representative Chip Laughlin of Lovitt, TX introduced the legislation after attending a high school game of 12th grade girls. "Just disgusting," said Laughlin. "Them in their little shorts and tank tops getting all sweaty...running and jumping for the audiences delight. There were things going on out there I didn't want my kids to see." "This is preposterous," said Jill Turlock, Arlington Regional High School's girl's basketball coach. "It's like I'm waking up in the dark ages. If this bill passes, I will resign and I hope others follow suit." The reason Turlock is so upset is that the new legislation would ban the girl's from wearing shorts while they play - only knee length or longer skirts will be permitted. Tank tops traditionally worn by basketball players will be replaced by loose turtleneck sweaters. Girls will no longer be allowed to run if they are developed beyond an 'A' cup. Girl's under no circumstances may change direction quickly, swivel their hips, jump or in any matter touch another girl. "This will ruin the sport," argues Turlock. ""I thought I was in one of those girly clubs," Laughlin argued. "Those young nubile bodies...bending and turning in every direction. Their behavior is deplorable and leads to sexual thoughts. Which leads to sex. Which in turn leads to AIDS." Laughlin agreed that if the girls were to play wearing traditional Muslim garb, he might bend a little on the no running aspect of the rules.
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