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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

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Ask Randy, the Sports Psychologist*

 

Dear Randy,

I was playing soccer with my mom in the backyard. She kicked the ball to me when I wasn't looking. The ball hit me square in the nuts and I immediately was doubled over in pain. My mom called a few of the neighbors over and the next thing you know, my pants are down and all of the moms in the neighborhood were fondling me, pretending to be checking on my injury. I really don't have a question or a problem, I just thought I'd share that with you.

Hangin Out in Bloomsburg.

Dear Hangin Out,

Thanks for sharing that. I can only imagine the thrill of having several females fondle you simultaneously while feigning a sort of medical seriousness. What a great way to get to know your neighbors.

Randy,

Are you Stan's father?

Stan

Dear Stan,

Wow, I've reproduced and I'm introduced to my progeny on the internet. Isn't technology something? Yes, I'm your Daddy. But I have no money, job, or skills. Jockweb let's me hang out at their corporate offices but I pay them. So I hope you're not getting in touch with me, thinking I'm some rich sport psychologist. Sport psychology is a relatively new profession and there's not much opportunity for financial gain. I met your mother for $50 and I sincerely believed it was just for the night. Sorry.

Randy

ASK FOR YOURSELF.  Got a question for Randy?  Send it to him - click here.