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Tiger Woods Loses Masters Jacket over Marriage to White Woman CHARLOTTE, NC - With the increasing popularity and political strength of the religious right, there has been a movement to move backwards in time, perhaps to the 1950's. Texas representatives have presented legislation to ban sexy outfits on cheerleaders, and the PGA has stripped Tiger Woods of his Master's Jackets.
"Tiger's marriage to a pretty white woman hit us all pretty hard," admitted tournament pro Chad Lactmont. "I've wanted to tell him to get his hands off her many times. But in this era of political correctness and all, we have to pretend everything is ok." Golf is famous for being somewhat reactionary in it's political beliefs. They've turned their hidden feelings into policy when they announced that any dark skin man married to a white woman could not actually win a title. "I thought we were beyond all this," said a sullen Woods. "I mean what man wouldn't understand my attraction to (wife) Elin (Nordegren)"? Woods suggested that tournament officials watch the Mel Brooks movie Blazing Saddles to demonstrate how silly they were being with their racist policies. One official who asked to remain unidentified stated that Harvey Korman's character - Hedley Lamar was his favorite, and totally missed the point.
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