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Dan Rather Signs Verbal Agreement with Jockweb.com NEW YORK, NY - Always looking to add hard hitting investigative reporting, and state of the art name recognition, JockWeb.com has announced an agreement in principle with former CBS Evening News host Dan Rather. "I'm thrilled," said a thrilled Timothy Laptooth, co-founder of Jockweb.com. "To have a reported with the reputation of Dan Rather on staff is very exciting." Rather recently stepped down as anchor of CBS Evening News after failing to check sources on a story he ran on President Bushes alleged National Guard problems. "He'll fit right in. We haven't checked a source since we started this rag." Laptooth gleamed. When asked for comment, Rather said he was on his way fishing and never heard of Jockweb.com. In a released statement, Rather claimed "I have not signed anything. I have not spoken to anyone. All I remember is a lunatic shouting at me on the street. I didn't want to get beaten up, so I kept walking." Rather is of course referring to the brutal attack he suffered when a deranged man believed CBS was beaming signals into his head, and Rather could give the frequency to make it stop. Thus the term, 'What's the Frequency, Kenneth' was born of an ass-kicking at Dan Rather's expense. "He didn't exactly say yes, but he had yes in his eyes," retored Laptooth. "He'll be on board."
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