JockWeb                                     
For when you must scratch that Sports Itch

 
Home

Archives

Testimonials

Reader Submissions

Links

ESPN
CBSSportsline
FoxSports

Your Ad Here!

Feedback

Ricky Williams Returns to Dolphins; Apologizes For September 11 attacks

MIAMI, FL - "I don't know what I was thinking.  What I did was because of the drugs" said Ricky Williams addressing the press at the first day of Dolphins training camp.  In many respects, an apology was what his teammates wanted for his early retirement last season.

However, this may not have been what they were looking for.  "Although I don't remember all the details, I think I was responsible for the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center.  I was high from December of 1999 until last week.  I'm sure I did a lot of things I should regret."  Williams went on to state that he wanted to start at the top in his apologies.  That was the biggest event he heard about.

Among other items Williams apologized for were:
The election of George Bush (twice)
The Florida shark attacks
Randy Moss
The killing of Robert Blake's wife
Molesting children at Neverland Ranch
Girls wearing flip flops to the White House
Howard Stern moving to satellite radio
Forcing Dan Rather's retirement
Brittany Spears' pregnancy
Introducing Katie Holmes to Tom Cruise
The growing popularity of the Food Network
That 70's Show, and Ashton Kutcher in General
Reality TV
Courtney Love
The NHL Strike
and Barry Bonds' steroid usage

Williams later stated that he also meant to apologize to his Dolphins teammates, but forgot what for...possibly due to the fact that he was high.



Pictured: Ricky Williams attempting to contact the alien mother ship...possibly while high

 

WWW.SUBMITFUNNY STUFF.COM

Funny Stuff.  You're way.

Laugh, win fabulous prizes, pick up hot women.  Well, laugh and win prizes...