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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

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Last week I went to a new doctor about my back that has been giving me trouble ever since my husband watched some stupid porno movie and thought he was Casanova.  He tried flinging me up over his shoulder.  He dislocated his shoulder, and I fell off the bed and jammed my back.  Alright, maybe that was more than you needed to know, but let's just say I needed an orthopedic guy.

So I get a 9:30 appointment.  I get to the waiting room and there are no seats available.  And at least 5 people standing.  It's 9:20 in the morning, what are all these people doing here?  Do they tell 11 people to come in at 9:00?  Should I coin the phrase 'Sardine Medicine'?

Anyway, I know I need to wait when I get to a doctor's office, so I guess I'm used to it.  Finally, around 10:10 they call my name to go to the back.  I expect to be taken to a little white room and wait about 5 minutes by myself for the doctor to come in and spend 3 minutes with me.

No.  Another waiting room!  This time with only 5 people, but that's not the damn point!  It was like a horror movie.  I sat in that cramped room for another 30 minutes before I was finally brought into that little white room I'd been waiting so desperately for.

Then Dr. Snotty finally walks in and has the nerve to say to me 'We're a little backed up today.'   I told him that I had eaten a bowl of rice last night and I was a little backed up.  What he was doing was torturing all of his patients.

But what are we supposed to do?  He's one of the few Jewish doctors left.  If I don't like his service, it's hard to go somewhere else.  With an HMO, I'm trapped.  I have to put up with any crap he deals out or pay the whole thing by myself. 

I'm going to fight back the only way I know how.  The next time I get moved to that secret inside waiting room, I'm sending my son to his house with a flaming bag of doody.  It might just be mine.