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Rafael Palmero Tests Positive for Steroids -
Blames Viagra Use BALTIMORE, MD - Oriole first baseman Rafael Palmero tested positive for steroid use last week according to Major League Baseball officials. Since the controversy started last year by an unknown washed up outfielder named Joe or Jose or something, MLB has been ultra sensitive to the use of the banned substance, despite the effect it has on making players better and the game more interesting. "I deedent do aneetheeng wrong," said a despondent Palmero who now faces a fine and suspension. "Thee doctor gave mee thees little blue pills and said it would make mee swing a beeg steeck. I thought eet was Viagra." Palmero explains how the mix up could have happened. "When my wife, she complain a lot about my performance. So I go to thee doctor and say, 'I'm not performeen. I need steeck to be better.' He thought I meant baseball bat. But that ees not what I meant." Palmero's doctor was unable to be reached for comment. When asked if he plans to appeal his suspension, Palmero responded, "Si".
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