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NHL to Use Alternate Players NEW YORK, NY - NHL Board of Directors has announced that the players strike might not be over any time soon. However, this will not mean there won't be another missed season. Although pro players won't be available. NHL President Gary Bettman has reportedly been entertaining using amateurs, private citizens, and the animal kingdom. "We won't be choosey", said Bettman. "If he, she or it is good on ice, we'll hand them a stick and a sweater." The NHL is slated to lose 35 million dollars this year due to the player strike - much better than the 185 million they lose when the NHL actually plays. However NHL owners are optimistic that the lower quality of play could be made up by hilarity and cuteness. "Imagine little penguins on the ice in Pittsburgh," dreamed Bettman. "...or homeless as NY Rangers. The possibilities are limitless and we expect millions to tune in."
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