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Flare Give Away a Bad Idea MILAN, Italy (Reuters) -- The Champions League quarterfinal between Inter Milan and city rivals AC Milan was abandoned after 73 minutes on Tuesday after Milan keeper Dida was struck by one of dozens of flares thrown down from the stands. “We’re starting to realize that giving away a flare to the first 5,000 fans was not the best idea we’ve ever had”, said Tony Pazoni, spokesperson for Inter Milan, “perhaps we should have considered the impact of alcohol mixed with a boring game”. That flare went over as well as a turd in a fruitpunch bowl. The fan who shot the flare was quoted in jail after the game as saying, “I am truly sorry for what I have done. I thought Dido was in goal. I can’t stand her singing.” It is also significant to note that the New York Yankees no longer give away bats and the Southern Baseball League’s Macon Braves no longer distribute cyanide “gag” pills as promotions. By the way, we’re not sure who won the game.
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